Chronic illness, the constant battle against yourself!

I remember getting an ordinary cold before all this and feeling like I was on deaths door and how I missed being able to breath or smell properly… and that was only after a few days! I would never of and could never of imagined life changing so much that a cold would seem like nothing and that every day would become a challenge but it did, and now I just have to accept it although still challenging it!

It’s the constant battle of having to remain in control of your mind set, as negative spirals can easily get out of hand, but so can hope and positivity and one will generally lead to the other. So fighting to keep a balance is a must although a lot harder then expected.

It’s a battle of challenging yourself so you progress not decline but not pushing yourself so you make things worse ( still working on this one as I lay injured on bed rest from causing more damage )

It’s a battle with Doctors taking you seriously and fighting to be heard and treated with respect.

It’s a battle against the population and the discrimination and abuse for not “looking sick“ and having to feel like we should explain ourselves when faced… although it’s nobody’s business! We are treated like we are lazy when it takes us 3-10x more energy just walking then the average healthy person! No wonder why we can’t clean or work often if at all! If only people understood how it feels to live in our body for even a day!

It’s a constant battle of finances, everything costs so much but yet we can’t work so have to rely on our partners or the government payments which then adds guilt and more discrimination. Not to mention the shame of having to ask how much each test or appointment will cost so you can see if you can get enough together or have to go without till you can afford it and live longer in pain!

It’s the emotional battle of grieving the loss of who we once were and the things we can no longer accomplish, the loss of identity and having a purpose in life… the career, the future plans that have to change, the stress of deals with each symptom on a daily basis and the stress of each new symptom and how to handle it. The stress in general of all the above would break most “normal” people!

The toll that chronic illnesses have on relationships, romantic , family or friends. It’s a battle within of what to share and what to hold back! Losing people who you thought cared and feeling like a burden or a negative Nelly when opening up.

The battles we face on a daily battle is astonishing and horrible! So if you’re reading this and you’re lucky enough not to be faced with chronic illness please understand what we go through before you judge someone with chronic illness as there is a lot going on within…. or just every day people on the street, you have no clue what’s going on inside.. because we don’t “look sick”!!!

If you’re reading this and like me are facing daily battles due to your illness…. please remember… YOU ARE STRONG, BRAVE, FIERCE AND TOUGH! Hang in their, keep putting up the good fight as each battle won is extra strength to help you have the determination to win them all! But also know it’s okay not to be okay and to ask for help when you need it as we often do because YOU DESERVE IT!

Take it easy y’all! Xo

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